Zero Perfection
by Sakurada Kiritsugu
Summary: The Rule of Steel. The law that the Valliere must abide by. Hide your emotions. Master all your spells. Become unrivaled. Never cry. Embody perfection. "Perfection". How Louise loathed that word, as it was something she desired but could never achieve. Little did she know, she was about to summon something that wished for perfection just as much as she did. (Rated M because Cell.)
1. Chapter 1

**_Shut up._**

 ** _I know what you're gonna say. Save it. I know I have a lot of fanfics on my plate. I know that most of them haven't been uploaded for months, maybe even more than a year or two!_**

 ** _But you must understand my mind._**

 ** _When ideas and imagination pile up in my head, I can't concentrate. I can't think, I can't focus. I need to expunge a few ideas out just to clear my head and maybe set up a foundation for a new fanfic that somebody else will take over for me. When I let them. When I ask for it._**

 ** _Now then, this little brainchild of mine has a brother, as you probably noticed. In fact, the other fic most likely has the exact same authors note at the beginning! Meaning, if you've read the AN from the other fic, feel free to skip this one, especially since here comes a rather lengthy DBZ Xenoverse rant._**

 ** _Now then, this fanfic is one of the many few crossovers between ZNT and DBZ. I have been rather addicted to playing Dragon Ball Z Xenoverse in my spare time (specifically, 8 PMish until 10 or 11 PMish on Fridays and Saturdays and ONLY on those days. I have an IRL life as well!) with my really faulty Xbox 360 (it randomly ejects the disc when you least expect it. I REALLY FUCKING HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS. But, it happens much more scarcely between 8 PM and 11 PM, something to do with the voltage.) and needless to say, I love the game, as it not only lets me relive the battles of one of my childhood manga/anime, but also lets me do so using my own original character!_**

 ** _I made an Arcosian (the apparent official fanbase name for Frieza's species) and named him Sakurada. But then again, what kind of Arcosian doesn't have a punny name that relates to cold temperature?_**

 ** _Unfortunately, all the good ones were taken. So I just call him Aeez (Ice. Get it?). His current moveset is Milky Cannon (fruity name but this Ginyu technique is usefull when you're surrounded.), Death Beam (HAIL LORD FRIEZA!), Meteor Blow (Which can be spammed with the right timing to send your opponent into next week and next planet), Emperor's Sign (virtually useless but I need to "master" this technique before Frieza teaches me Supernova.), Blue Hurricane (Nuff said. Thanks Burter.) And Supernova (ALL HAIL LORD FRIEZA!)_**

 ** _Because of Xenoverse, I have been hooked into Dragon Ball again, which made me hooked into TeamFourStar DBZ Abridged again._**

 ** _Things piled up and this fic happened._**

 ** _Now then, you all probably skipped the author's note, so I'll just let you all get to the story. Enjoy._**

 _Prologue: The Foundation for Perfection_

Inside the decrepit and ruined remains of what was once a laboratory, was a large glass tube. It was full of a transparent green liquid, giving off an eerie glow inside the empty room.

There was no other source of light. No source of air. The lab was sealed shut, the ruins of the entrance blocking the way out under tons of rubble.

There were no life signals in this room.

Except for one.

Suspended inside the glass vat was a strange creature, resembling a mixture of insect larvae and a type of salamander. It wriggled as lights blinked on the surprisingly undamaged control panel attached to the vat. The panel had a small screen, with a slowly blinking sign.

 _Time until release: 23 hours and 15 minutes._

Roughly a day or so left until whatever manner of creature inside the pod was going to be released into the world.

Under any other circumstances, this creature would be freed, then it would proceed to evolve and burrow underground to sleep for 4 years until it is ready to become a force of evil so terrifying, the entire world would shudder as its citizens remember the name of the being.

But in this story...

Something rather magical happens.

#scene break#

In another world, another planet, another plane of existence, another dimension, was a school. This school was an academy for children who could do magic.

What?

No, not Hogwarts. Wrong fanfic.

This school was Tristain's Academy of Magic, a school that educates the nobles of the rather small country and foreign exchange students the ropes of magic, how to cast spells, do alchemy and generally be the perfect mage.

Perfect.

Yes, that's what Louise wanted to be.

Ever since she was a small child, no older than five years old, her mother was teaching her decorum and how to be a strong woman befitting of her status as a noble born from the house of Valliere. However, her mother was a harsh teacher. She was brutal and unforgiving as she taught Louise the famous Valliere 'Rule of Steel'.

Hide your emotions.

Master all your spells.

Become unrivaled.

Never cry.

Embody perfection.

 _Perfection_... how Louise loathed that word, yet envied those who achieved it. Perfect was all she wanted to be. To make her mother proud of her, to see the stone cold woman actually smile at her for the first time in pride and not sneer in disappointment. To show her classmates that she could become powerful, beautiful and unrivaled, just like her mother.

To show them that Louise Valliere was NOT a zero.

Alas, perfection is a difficult target to reach, especially for the diminutive pinkette. For she was not cold like her mother, she was brash and loud. She was not level headed and calculative, she was foul tempered and aggressive. She was not blessed with a tall, voluptuous body and a mature and graceful face, she was flat chested, short and had an impish looking face, almost like a child's. She was not powerful in the slightest, she couldn't even cast a single spell without causing an explosion that harms not only those around her, but even herself. And crying? How many times has she cried herself to sleep from the harsh treatment from her mother, the insults and jeers of all the other students and from the fear that should she fail to succeed her mother's expectations, she would be thrown away, like common trash or sold off in an arranged marriage?

In short, "perfection" was not something she could achieve easily.

But she was about to be a step closer to achieving it.

It was the Springtime Familiar Summoning Ritual. The ritual in which the students could summon a familiar, be it a common animal like a dog or a magical creature like a dragon, to become their partner until the day one of them dies.

This was her chance to summon something strong. Something noble. Something to show them that she was not a failure. Something... perfect.

"Now then, miss Valliere, could you please step up and summon your familiar?" a kind and old voice asked.

Ah, Professor Colbert. Unlike most of the other teachers, he enjoyed helping her and didn't reprimand or look at her like she was a disappointment. Apparently he was good friends with her mother. They were such good friends that her mother even appointed him as Godfather should anything happen.

Professor Colbert was like an uncle to Louise. He was kind, patient, funny and apparently incredibly powerful as well.

He believed in Louise.

'Somebody here actually believes in me.'

With that thought in mind, Louise steps up to the summoning circle, wand in hand, her long pink hair waving in the wind, ignoring the whispers and insults her classmates gave.

"The zero? She can't cast a spell to save her life!"

"Hold on to your seats, here comes another explosion."

"Why is she still here anyway? She's better off leaving!"

Ignoring the scalding remarks, Louise stood in front of the summoning circle and began to chant.

#scene break#

 _Time until release: 5 minutes and 29 seconds._

Soon.

Soon the mad doctor of the Red Ribbon army's masterpiece will emerge. All the subliminal messages and the mental restraints implanted inside it as it was grown will take root and send it off on its journey to eliminate Earth's greatest hero (hint, he's not the guy with the afro and moustache) and obtain perfection.

The vat will open up, the liquid will flood out and the larvae will crawl and crawl until its enhanced evolution/metamorphosis kicks in and it will grow into its more insectoid form, before hibernating and then transforming into the first stage of its humanoid form.

Yes, the plan was perfect.

 _"Hear me, oh great and powerful familiar!"_

Scratch that, the plan has gone to Hell.

 _"Oh wondrous and unrivaled being..."_

The larvae twitched at that. It was still in its infant stage but it could understand spoken languages perfectly. It WAS meant to be perfect after all and it needed to know how to understand languages in order for its creator's orders implanted in its mind to actually work.

This... person who was speaking... it was definitely female and apparently speaking some kind of language that very closely resembles French.

The question was, WHY was she speaking to IT?

 _"Please... heed my plea! Come forth from wherever you are, and stay by my side until the day either of us die!"_

She sounded lonely, that was for sure. IT didn't care though. Or maybe IT just COULDN'T care? It didn't matter. It didn't matter that IT could feel some sort of pull on its body, as if something was trying to snatch it up. It didn't matter that IT could feel the girl's emotions, strangely, which were filled with loneliness, pain and desperation.

 _"If you are listening right now, oh magnificent and perfect being..."_

Now THAT got IT to pause.

Perfect.

The very word struck many bells inside the being's infantile mind.

Perfect.

Perfection.

That was what IT was meant to be.

This girl was calling for something perfect. The only thing she could possibly mean was IT. IT was made to be perfect. IT was meant to be perfect in every way. What kind of person had the power to call upon what would be a perfect being?

Slowly, the larvae began to wriggle, even as the vat's control panel began counting down from 10 seconds, it began to adjust to the strange pull it felt and follow it.

 _"...then please, come forth and stand before me!"_

If she wanted perfection, then IT would give her perfection.

 _Time until release: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1-ERROR, ERROR, BREACH DETECTED. PROJECT 'CELL' HAS BEEN REMOVED. REPEAT: PROJECT 'CELL', HAS BEEN REMOVED._

#scene break#

To the surprise of none, an explosion erupted from the summoning circle. Following it was a series of coughs, swears and line class wind spells to clear away the dust and then laughter.

Louise nearly broke her wand in half as she grit her teeth. All that preparation, all those pep talks from her Godfather, all of that waiting with anxiety... pointless. Utterly pointless.

"Children, please, calm down." Professor Colbert said in an attempt to silence the students. But they just ignored him and laughed, the only one who wasn't was a petite and bespectacled bluenette who was reading her book.

Louise turned away from the summoning circle and the students as she began to walk away.

Until she felts something touch her shoe.

Looking down, she came face to face with the most bizarre creature she's ever seen.

It was a little green creature, almost reptilian and had two short and stubby front limbs that vaguely resembled a human baby's, a head without any sort of facial definitions other than a small mouth with no teeth and it was vaguely shaped like sort of helmet or shell. It had a 34 centimeter tail, a pair of stubby bipedal back legs and it was prodding and poking Louise's ankle with its front limbs.

As she bent down to pick it up, the laughter of the other students began to die out as they saw the strange being she summoned. Professor Colbert appeared amazed at the fact that she seemed to have successfully summoned a familiar.

Whatever it was.

"Congratulations miss Valliere! You have successfully summoned a familiar! Now all you need to do is finalize the contract!" the bald scholar exclaimed with a smile. Louise frowned thoughtfully as she looked at the thing she held aloft, each hand under its... armpits. It just hung there, staring dumbly at her with its mouth slightly agape, its tail wagging and its apparently purple tongue hanging out of its mouth.

THIS was her perfect familiar?

She held it closer to her face and narrowed her eyes at it. As she did so, it stopped whatever it was doing and just stared at her.

Then it opened its mouth and licked her nose.

Yep, perfect.

Perfectly ADORABLE.

Her eyes practically sparkling, Louise resisted the urge to squeal as she looked at her very own familiar, whatever it was. It wasn't big, it wasn't magical (as far as she could tell) and it certainly wasn't any kind of creature she's ever heard of.

But by the Founder, it was cute.

"My name is Louise Francoise Le Blanc de La Valliere. Pentagon of the five elemental powers, bless this being and make him my familiar." Louise said before giving the little green creature a small kiss on the crown of its helmet/shell looking head. With a spark, suddenly magic runes began to carve into the tiny being's head, before, much to Colbert's shock, spreading all over its body. Arms, legs, tail, head, all over it had archaic runes, glowing with light. Once they were carved, the light faded and the runes vanished.

"Splendid! Now then, off you all trot, it's nearly eight and you all need rest so you can enjoy the entire day with your new familiars tomorrow! Off you all go!" Jean Colbert said with a hearty chuckle as the students began to wander off, most of them still shocked that Louise managed to summon a familiar.

Louise herself was cuddling the little creature with gusto, completely oblivious of the fact that all but her and her Godfather have left.

"Ahem, Louise, bed time." The bald teacher said as he cleared his throat loudly, snapping Louise out of her little daze.

"A-ah, right. Good night Professor."

"Good night." Colbert said with a smile as Louise began to jog to the academy. Suddenly, she stopped and turned around with a smile.

"Thank you, Uncle Colbert. For believing in me."

"Anytime Louise."

After giving the man a beaming smile, Louise went off to her room, leaving behind a chuckling middle aged scholar.

"Looks like I won the bet after all, eh Karin?"

#Louise's room#

Completely ignoring the little pile of hay she originally prepared for her familiar, she placed it on her bed instead before beginning to change into her nightdress. She then crawled under the sheets, her familiar crawling under them with her, much to her delight. Good. That meant that it recognized her as its master and it also allows her to cuddle with it some more.

"I have a familiar... an adorable little familiar... I'm not a failure after all..." Louise muttered happily as she stroked her familiar's chin, until she came to a revelation. "Oh, that's right, I need to give you a name."

She paused for a moment, her face scrunching up into a thoughtful expression.

Minutes passed and yet she had no idea what to call her familiar.

"...you know what, confound it, I think I'll just call you Little Green. Yes, direct, simple and it describes you perfectly."

As she closed her eyes and hugged her familiar closer, she failed to notice it show a hint of a grimace at the name.

#elsewhere, in a different world, time and dimension, on a floating platform in the sky with a temple on top of it#

"ACCHOOO!" a small, green and humanoid being with a pair of antennae on its head sneezed.

"Bless you." An older and much more masculine being of the same species said not even a second later, his arms crossed as he stared at the horizon. The tiny being sniffled and rubbed its nose before grimacing.

"I just had the strangest feeling."

"Oh? Do tell."

"It was odd Piccolo. I felt like punching Krillin."

"Don't we all?" the tall Namekian chuckled with a smirk.

 **And that's the end of the prologue.**

 **Yes. I am doing this.**

 **I can work with this.**

 **Updates will come when I find the time but I think I can roll with this.**

 **Now then, the familiar (I'm sure you all know who he is) will be much more different in this fanfic. In the original DBZ, it was implanted with orders to kill Goku and reach perfection, yadda yadda yadda.**

 **In here though? The familiar runes are overwriting those commands. It will still yearn for perfection.**

 **But what's the point of trying to kill a man who doesn't exist in this world?**

 **No, those orders will be replaced by orders concerning its master. Protect her, take care of her and shit like that.**

 **So IT will be very different from the one you all know and love.**

 **The personality I'm looking for though is a balance between IT's canon personality and IT's TeamFourStar DBZ abridged personality.**

 **Yeah.**

 **Anyhow, enjoy your day, Sakurada out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, me again. I'm really glad that this story is getting some good reviews, I really am. Some of you must wonder, am I giving up Voidwalker? The answer is obviously no, I'm just taking a small break from it. I have things to do, videos to make, ideas to expunge, that kind of jazz.**

 **Oh, and I graduated from high school. That too.**

 **That being said, enjoy another chapter of Zero Perfection.**

 **This is where things get weirder for Louise.**

 **Just Saiyan.**

 **Chapter 2: Cute just got ugly.**

To say that the small embryonic creature was confused would have been a rather severe understatement.

It was completely baffled.

As far as it was concerned, its life was supposed to revolve around evolving and then proceeding to perfect itself and then killing Son Goku.

Now?

All of those orders and messages that Doctor Gero imprinted into its DNA and bio-mechanical body just slowly began to disintegrate.

It's like they were being overwritten.

But that was ludicrous, wasn't it? There is no way the complex programming and precautions the mad doctor made could be overwritten so easily.

But of course, scientific programming does little when confronted with MAGICAL programming.

Replacing his orders to destroy Goku and the rest of the Z-fighters were almost instinctual compulsions to remain by this pink haired girl's side and protect her.

Protect her.

IT went from future weapon of destruction to pet/bodyguard within the span of a single day.

How could this have happened?

Oh right. Magic.

Regardless, IT could do little else but analyze its situation. IT was trapped in unknown land, in a country that does not exist, where the planet has two moons, people can use magic and can summon magical and mundane creatures as personal pets/guardians/houseplants/etc.

The dialect they spoke was similar to French but bore similarities to Italian and a little bit of German as well.

From the looks of things, the current location IT was in was a school of sorts.

Just great. Not only was IT stuck here in a world full of strange science defying beings and laws that would make Doctor Gero have a stroke, IT was stuck in a damn school full of adolescent children with boys who think with their genitalia and girls who think with their romance novels.

Just perfect.

...

The irony of that statement was not lost on IT.

#10:00 AM, Louise's room#

Louise yawned cutely as she sat up and stretched. She blinked the sleep from her eyes and let her hand drop to her side.

Only for her right hand to plop on something soft, leathery and breathing.

She turned her sights towards the silently sleeping creature she summoned yesterday.

"It... it wasn't a dream..." she began to smile "I really did it...I summoned a familiar... whatever it is."

With that, she laid down again and stared at her familiar. It was a strange little thing. No eyes, no nose, just a single wide mouth with a fat purple tongue and only four tiny stubby teeth in there, two in the bottom and two at the top.

Its little fingers were stubby and probably couldn't bend that well. Its hind legs had three faint nubs on each foot that might be toes in the process of growing. Its tail was rather thin compared to its rather thick body.

"I don't know what you are... but I sure can't wait to see what you grow into."

Oh how she was going to eat those words.

#two hours later#

IT had no idea how it got there. One moment it was fast asleep and the next thing it knew, it was being carried off and was placed on a table right in front of a large assortment of food.

Despite not having eyes yet, IT could smell the food through its sensors on its tongue and it immediately began to ravage the food.

"Hey, don't eat too fast! Some of that is for me you know." A female voice called out from right behind IT.

The green creature turned its head towards the source of the sound. It could smell vanilla and daisies... the same smell of the girl that summoned IT.

The embryonic infant just turned its head towards the large pastry it held in both its little hands before turning back to the girl and holding the pastry out to her.

It was lucky it had no eyes or it would have seen the sparkles dancing in Louise's.

"You're... so... damn... cute!" Louise exclaimed as she tried not to immediately snatch up her familiar and hug it. She just accepted the offered cup cake and began to eat it as her familiar returned to mauling the food.

They were sitting outside at a simple wooden table where she had one of the maids place a number of different foods there, since she wasn't sure what 'Little Green' ate.

Turns out, it ate everything.

Literally.

Bread? Chomp.

Meat? Chomp.

Eggs? Gulp.

Milk? Slurp.

Vegetables and fruit? Mastication commences.

It even went as far as eating one of the napkins accidentally.

Whatever Little Green was, it sure had an appetite.

Louise stared at her familiar and began to write in a little notebook. _'Can eat nearly anything, including cloth. Slimy skin and wide mouth. Some kind of Salamander subspecies perhaps?'_

Eventually, the food all ran out and her familiar was just lying there on the table on its back with a bloated belly, which made it look absolutely hilarious, like a quadrupedal beached whale.

"Alright Little Green, come to mommy, time to go and get cleaned up." Louise said happily as she pat the table.

'Little Green' turned its head towards her curiously. Mommy? As in mother? She wanted it to consider her as its mother? An incredibly strange notion, though common with women who own pets.

However, IT was no ordinary creature so this situation was quite interesting.

Reluctantly, IT began to roll over and crawl towards her until she picked it up carefully so she wouldn't aggravate Little Green's stomach as she walked back to their room to wash off all the crumbs and other leftovers pieces of food that managed to splatter all over her familiar.

#half an hour later#

Bathing was a refreshing experience for Little Green. Feeling the water cleanse it of all impurities and just envelope it in cleanly goodness reminded it of when IT still lived in that vat of liquid.

Speaking of which, wasn't it supposed to not be able to breathe without the liquid?

Bah, no matter. It just trotted behind Louise to see what else she was going to do. First a banquet of food, then a nice bath, IT was liking its situation already.

IT noticed something interesting as well. It was evolving at a slightly faster rate than it would have back in the lab. Already it had grown three toes and was slowly getting bigger. Another deviation caused by magic? Perhaps. But for now, IT was going to forget all the troublesome thoughts and follow Mother.

Louise stood in one of the many fields outside the school. There were several other students there as well with their own familiars but she paid them no mind. It was time to see what her familiar could do.

"So Valliere, what IS your familiar anyway? Looks like some sort of lizard if you ask me." A haughty voice called out.

'Oh Founder give me strength...' Louise thought as she turned to see her least favorite person in the entire school. "What is it now Zerbst?"

"Oho, how cruel, can't I just pop up to see how you are doing?" the red haired Germanian asked with a grin.

"Why should you? The only reason you ever come around me is to bug me. Now shove off, I have things to do." Louise snapped.

"Ohoho, scalding." Kirche of the Zerbst family chuckled.

Little Green simply sat there on its hind legs quizzically. Whoever this new person was, Louise didn't like her. Does that mean IT shouldn't like her either?

"Hello there little one. My name is Kirche. How do you do?" Kirche said, ignoring Louise's glare as she knelt down and held a hand out to the reptilian looking creature. Little Green simply stared blankly at her before poking its tongue out at her and then trotting off to Louise's side.

Kirche's face was painted with surprise whereas Louise just bit her lip so she wouldn't burst out laughing. A small part of her was proud that her familiar actually did that. 'Good, it knows who it shouldn't waste time with.'

"Well... that was surprising. Your familiar appears to be incredibly intelligent, if anything." The busty and tanned Germanian said as she stood up. "But it has nothing on my Flame, isn't that right dear?"

A large red reptile the size of a tiger came up from behind Kirche and nuzzled its head to her palm.

Louise stood in front of her own familiar protectively, as if worried that the Salamander was going to eat Little Green. It was big enough to swallow him whole.

"At least my familiar can fight, Valliere. Yours can't do much other than look cute and-what's happening to it?" Kirche suddenly questioned in confusion. Louise looked down to find her familiar shuddering and pulsing a bit as veins began to throb on its body.

"W-what's wrong? What's happening to you?" Louise asked with panic as she knelt down next to her familiar that continued to shudder and pulse. The volume of her voice caused other students to turn and look at the sight.

"Heh, of course her familiar is a failure as well."

"It looks like it's gonna explode!"

"Pity, it looked kinda cute."

Louise was ready to snap at them until her familiar just stopped moving.

And then it began to grow.

It began slowly as it grew in size, but then its body started changing. It started to grow a hard shell, longer digits and limbs and most noticeable of all, it grew eyes.

Slowly, it turned from small and reptilian to large and insectoid.

It was still on all fours, but now it's body was covered by a hard exoskeleton. Its helmet-like head had grown much larger and now sported a pair of incredibly pale pinkish eyes with no pupils and a strange insectoid mouth that look like a small orange hump with several lines on it, one of which being the actual opening for the mouth. Its tail had shrunk in length and now sported a small stinger at the end. Its once deep green color had turned pale and sickly with black spots.

All in all, it looked like a very ugly beetle.

And it was also nearly the same size as Flame.

Louise stared at the now evolved familiar with wide eyes before finally finding her voice. "Little Green...?"

It turned its head towards her and crawled to her slowly before prodding her foot in the same manner it did when she first summoned it.

Slowly, she began to smile as she reached out with one hand and began to pet it on the... helmet.

"Well Valliere, I was wrong. Now he's big and ugly. Even more useless than before it seems." Kirche said after recovering from the shock.

Louise caught her familiar's eyes narrowing before it scuttled towards the red-head and then proceeded to leap off the ground like a grasshopper and head-butt the Germanian girl right in the stomach, causing her to fall flat on her rump. It then proceeded to growl at Flame, who immediately cowered at the sudden killing intent.

Louise stared at her familiar in awe before growing a smirk. "How's that for useless? The only thing useless around here are those oversized balloons stuck to your chest. Come on Little Green, let's go and get you a snack."

Excited at the prospect of being able to eat, the insectoid creature immediately scuttled after Louise.

Kirche slowly began to sit up and rub her belly, with a grin that never left her face. "Heh, that Valliere sure has an interesting familiar."

#a few hours later#

Siesta was a simple maid. She liked to clean, she liked to cook, she enjoyed helping people and she loved smutty romance novels.

And like most stereotypical teenage girls who were 'moe', she was terrified of insects.

So when one of the female nobles suddenly shows up at the kitchen with a beetle-like monster the size of a pit bull?

She freaked out.

"A-A-A-A-ALMIGHTY F-FOUNDER, W-W-WHAT I-IS T-THAT!?" Siesta exclaimed to the high heavens, dropping her broom as she stared at the spotted creature in horror.

"This is Little Green, you helped feed him this morning." Louise said indignantly.

"B-but he looks n-nothing like the c-cute little lizard from before!"

"Well he grew, and now he could use a snack." Louise said with a sigh, missing her familiar leer at Siesta and then lick its lips.

"E-EEEEEK, D-DON'T EAT ME!" the raven haired maid wailed as she held a plate in front of her defensively.

"What in Brimir's name is wrong with you?" Louise exclaimed in surprise.

"I-i-i-it looked at me and licked its lips!"

"He was probably trying to tell you that he's hungry." Louise said as she began to feel her patience failing. This was going to take a while.

#an hour later, lunch time#

'Little Green' was rather content with his life right now.

He was currently eating a bountiful feast of leftovers, in the form of the scraps and the parts of vegetables and animals that nobody eats. Apparently, this way the humans could continue to make food for the students and feed him at the same time without working harder. Louise agreed with it since Little Green eats just about anything, though she was apprehensive about him not eating normal food. She then had to leave to go and eat in the main dining hall after being assured by the Head Chef, a hearty man named Marteau, that Little Green would be in good hands and then proceeded to tell Siesta to keep watch of the insectoid familiar.

Speaking of the raven hair girl, 'Little Green' was enjoying terrifying the poor little maid. He couldn't help it. It must have been from his Arcosian genes but he enjoyed tormenting somebody weaker than him.

And then biggest reason he was happy.

His evolution was accelerating at an amazing rate.

What should have taken four years was now going to be done in less than four more hours. His mental processes are working optimally and his powers were beginning to unveil themselves before him.

Truly, the wonders of magic in this world are a great boon to him. Now he can evolve into his first form and then...

And then what?

Little Green paused in his devouring of chicken entrails at that thought.

What would he do? Android 17 and 18 didn't exist here. Son Goku didn't exist here.

Hell, everything that he was made from and for didn't exist here.

What was the point then? Why was he here?

He then thought about his connection. He could feel it, the strange bond between him and Louise. The person whom wished for him to treat her as 'mother'.

So was this it? He was going to spend the rest of his life looking after her, never achieving his perfect form?

Unless... could magic also help him evolve into his perfect form without needing to absorb Android 17 and 18? And perhaps, like how it is currently accelerating his growth, could it be possible that his own powers will be enhanced with the help of magic? In fact, could it be possible that he could even LEARN magic?

Little Green was snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed that the cowering maid that was supposed to watch over him was no longer there. He turned his head around to find her, only to see nothing but the other maids and chefs working.

Suddenly, his Namekian gene hearing began to pick up some sounds. Sounds of an argument coming from the noisy dining hall. And one of the voices he recognized belonged to Siesta.

Curious, Little Green began to crawl out of there and head into the main dining hall.

#a few moments later#

He came across an interesting sight.

Siesta was apologizing profusely to a blonde boy. He looked ridiculous with a silly looking rose in his hands (surprisingly from the smell, it was not even fake, it was somehow a rose locked in preservation due to some form of magic) and his school shirt was much frillier than the other boys'.

He also looked pissed.

"How dare you sully the honor of two maidens by sneaking this perfume onto me!"

"I-I swear that I didn't! I swear I saw it about to fall out of your pocke-"

"Are you calling me, a noble, a liar? How insolent! You need to be punished for this!" the blonde fop exclaimed as his male friends hooted in agreement.

"N-no, please forgive me sir Gramont, I-"Siesta tried to apologize but was cut off with another shout from the blonde student.

"Silence, I will see to it personally tha-OOF!" he himself was cut off when something large and spotted barreled into his stomach and knocked him over.

Siesta's eyes widened as she took in the appearance of the last thing she expected to come to her rescue. "L-Little Green?"

"What the devil is this!?" the blonde student nearly shrieked in shock as he looked at the creature that just knocked him over. "Such a hideous and disgusting looking creature!"

Little Green growled and prepared to give the boy the beating of his life with nothing more than his own head and maybe tail until a certain pinkette beat him to the punch. "HEY! That's my familiar you are insulting Guiche!"

Louise stepped up and stood next to her familiar with her hands on her hips.

"Of course it's Valliere's, why am I not surprised? The Zero summons such an ugly creature befitting with her ugly personality." Guiche quips as he stands up, a few of the other students laughing with him.

"Why you... Little Green is the best familiar there is! He's smart and strong and can eat anything! At least he isn't useless like your fat mole!"

"Don't you dare bring my Verdandi into this!" Guiche exclaimed in anger. "At least Verdandi is adorable, yours looks like a walking freak show!"

"Little Green is strong and that's all I need! I don't care if he's cute or ugly! I bet he can send you crying to your mother in minutes!" Louise shouted as she pointed a finger at the blonde fop.

"Oh? Let's test that theory shall we?" Guiche said with a smirk. "Me and him will duel in the Vestri court in ten minutes. If he can actually 'send me crying to my mother', as you so eloquently put it, I will take back what I said.

"Eh? But you're a noble, you can't duel him!"

"Correction, only nobles may not duel each other. But he's a familiar, so it is perfectly fine."

"B-but still..."

"What's the matter Zero? I thought your familiar was the best there is?" Guiche taunted as the other students laughed with him.

"M-milady Valliere, please, this is all my fault. L-let me just accept his punishment an-" Siesta was cut off by Louise as the pinkette raised her hand.

"Fine then Guiche. Vestri court. Ten minutes." Louise said with a glare. The blonde just scoffed and walked off, the other students beginning to file out after him. Once they all left, Louise slumped to the ground.

"Oh I'm so sorry Little Green, I shouldn't have dragged you into this mess." The pink haired girl said as she stroked her familiar's head.

"No Miss Valliere, it is my fault. I should not have antagonized him and made Little Green come to my rescue... thank you Little Green." Siesta said, adding a smile at the end of that sentence to the spotted insectoid familiar, who just blinked at her.

"What am I going to do? If I pull him out of the fight, they will all ridicule me even more..." Louise muttered as she pat her familiar's head. To her surprise, he just nudged her once with his head and then began to scuttle off to where Guiche went. "Wait, where are you going!? Are you actually going to fight him!?"

She received no reply and instead Little Green just went off to find the Vestri court, his master and the raven haired maid following right after him.

#a few minutes later#

"Well what do you know? You actually showed up." Guiche said as the Louise, Siesta and Little Green entered the court. "And here I thought you would chicken out."

Little Green growled as he began to crawl forward slowly.

"Hmph, no matter. You probably don't even understand a word that I am saying." Guiche simply flipped his hair in an overly dramatic fashion before pointing his rose at the creature. "Normally in cases like these I should describe the rules of a duel to you but since you are such a foul and ignorant creature I will skip that and simply skip to the battle."

"Hey! Little Green understands Halkeginian!" Louise shouted with a glare.

"If the peanut gallery could be quiet for a moment please!" Guiche exclaimed in annoyance as he held his rose wand aloft. "I will now proceed to introduce myself. Be grateful, creature, that you have the honor of facing a noble in battle. Not many commoners get such a privilege and even less beasts such as yourself."

Little Green said nothing as he stared at the human. Had he any pupils then the people there would have been able to see him roll his eyes.

Guiche waved his wand dramatically and let a single petal fall of the rose. The moment it touched the ground, it burst with light and the ground beneath it transformed and shifted into a large, metallic form.

Little Green was actually surprised and a little bit impressed when he saw what the boy conjured up. He was expecting some kind of rain of small pebbles or at least a small ball of fire. Maybe even a large plant attacking him.

He certainly was not expecting the boy to summon a ten foot tall automaton made of metal. A brown kind of metal, like copper or bronze. In its hands it wielded a sword and a shield, made out of the same kind of metal.

"I am known as Guiche the Bronze, and as such, my bronze Valkyrie shall face you!"

Ah, bronze it is then.

Little Green exhaled slowly before scuttling quickly to the metal woman. The Valkyrie silently stomped up to him and raised a sword before bringing it down. In an amazing show of agility though, the small insectoid familiar simply leapt to the side swiftly before leaping again and ramming it's forehead into the side of the magical construct. To his surprise, the attack only left a small dent in its side. He tried head butting it again, only for it to block with the shield and smack him away.

This small cycle continued on for several minutes, as the students watched and laughed.

"Its like watching a lion try and fight a dragon!"

"Place your bets people, who will win? The metal maiden or the icky insect!"

"Come on Guiche, stomp that thing like the bug it is!"

Louise growled as she heard the jeers and insults, before a concerned expression came over her face. 'Come on Little Green, you can do this... you're strong... you're smart... you are my perfect familiar, you can win this!'

As if responding, Little Green backed up a bit after dodging a potentially deadly swing of a sword before leaping forward with far more strength than before as he rammed his head into the chest of the Valkyrie.

And smashed it to pieces.

The metal construct had a very large dent in its chest and much of its armor had shattered from the impact as it slowly fell over.

"Yes!" Louise cheered, Siesta smiling and cheering with her.

"Hooo, not bad at all. But let's see how you stand up to this!" Guiche exclaimed as he swung his rose again.

And summoned up five Valkyries, each one bearing a different weapon. Two held swords, one had a sword and shield combo, another held a mace and the last held a spear.

"Oh no..." Siesta muttered. "He was having trouble against ONE of them, how is he going to fight five..?"

"He can do it! He's my familiar, he can do anything!" Louise declared, trying to remain confident.

To her delight, Little Green did splendidly against the Valkyries as he dodged and retaliated with every opportunity he found.

Until one of the Valkyries grabbed him by the tail.

Louise felt something twist in her heart as she saw the metal warrior woman smash her familiar down into the ground and then stomp on it, the others joining in briefly before kicking the insectoid creature to the side.

"H-how could you! You didn't need to be so brutal!" Louise yelled as she glared at Guiche, who simply smirked condescendingly.

"Sorry, my Valkyries tend to have minds of their own sometimes." The blonde fop laughed lightly before hearing a small and weak growl.

Louise and Siesta watched in horror as they saw the beaten and bruised familiar begin to get back up and shake itself before it started waving its tail menacingly.

Little Green's mind was a bit jumbled up from the beating but he certainly knew one thing.

He was pissed.

He glared at the Valkyries that took advantage of his tail to attack him. Though he could not blame them as he probably would have done the same if he was them.

He growled as he berated himself mentally. He should have put his tail into account. While his Namekian regeneration will help him heal from his injuries, it still takes up a lot of Ki... wait...

Little Green froze as it realized something. It had Ki. The other humans had Ki.

And for some reason, so did the Valkyries.

Perhaps it's because of the magic keeping them together. When it came to sensing energy, Ki and the magical energy the humans had just fell into the same category. Frankly, there was almost no difference.

The question that pondered Little Green's mind however...

Could he absorb the magic in the Valkyries to render them immobile while boosting his own energy?

The crowd watched in confusion as Little Green began to wave its tail slowly and crawl towards one of the Valkyries. Guiche saw this and frowned before gesturing with his wand, making his constructs of bronze charge at the familiar.

It looked like the same song and dance. They attacked and he dodged.

Only after a few moments, he did something new.

Once the insectoid familiar leapt above one of the Valkyries, specifically the mace wielding one, he jabbed his tail into the neck of it as he grappled it from behind.

The students laughed at how silly it looked. Especially Guiche.

"Hah, stupid insect! It doesn't matter if you have some kind of poison in your tail! That kind of thing won't... huh..?"

Following Guiche's trailing off into befuddlement, the students stared in shock as the Valkyrie began stumble and slowly degrade in color, the metal returning slowly into soil and dirt, until finally it was no more.

And Little Green was standing on top of its remains, his bruises and injuries practically gone and he even seemed a little bigger.

#one end of the Vestri court, back of the crowd*

In the crowd, one particular individual with red hair and tanned skin watched in surprise.

"Wow, that was rather impressive. Don't you think so Tabitha?" Kirche asked as she turned to her quiet friend, before widening her eyes in shock.

Tabitha was certainly watching the fight. Her eyes were wide as well, a look of shock upon her normally cold face.

And she had dropped her book.

Dropped. Her. Book.

"T-Tabitha?"

"I-impossible..." the bluenette muttered. "It... it..."

"What? What's wrong?"

"F-familiar... drained... magic..." Tabitha slowly said.

Kirche stared at her in confusion. "Sorry?"

"That familiar... just drained the Valkyrie of all of the magic powering it."

And that was possibly the longest sentence Kirche had heard Tabitha say in a very long time.

It took several seconds for her to process what her friend just said though.

"D-drained magic? B-but that isn't possible! No living creature can drain magic like that! Right?" Kirche asked in shock.

"No... only..."

"Only what?"

Tabitha looked at Kirche with a small amount of horror on her face.

"Only Elves."

*middle of Vestri court*

Little Green was beginning to pant.

Not out of exhaustion.

But out of joy. Out of euphoria.

It could drain the Valkyries. It could drain out all of their energy.

Now THIS evened the playing field considerably.

Leering at the other Valkyries, he leapt off the ground and grappled another before jabbing his tail into its neck and began to absorb its magical energy.

Guiche realized what the familiar was doing before conducting his Valkyries to move and attack it. "Stop him, don't let him do it again!"

Unfortunately for Guiche, he was too late.

Within seconds, Little Green drained the second Valkyrie of all its magical energy. There was surprisingly little fueling these constructs. Perhaps they don't need much energy to summon?

But for what they lacked in the amount they had individually, it was more than made up by how many of them there were.

And Little Green was counting on their numbers as he continued to drain them dry, one by one.

Guiche panicked and started summoning more Valkyries, sending them all to attack the familiar until the spotted green creature was being pummeled by no less than fifteen Valkyries. Seeing this, Guiche began to laugh as Louise watched in horror, seeing the large amount of metal constructs attacking Little Green.

What they didn't know is that by know, Little Green had so much energy, he was already practically immune to physical attacks of that caliber. The Valkyries hit him and sliced at him, but each attack just bounced off. Instead, all they did was annoy him as he milked the Valkyries for all they were worth.

It was halfway through absorbing the energy in the seventh Valkyrie that he felt something.

He felt... a change. He felt something about to burst. Like a happy memory he had long forgotten had just been remembered. But what could possibly...

'...oh...yesss...yesss... yes, yes, yes ,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES **,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES,YES!'**

Suddenly, the students all froze as a loud growl came from the dogpile of Valkyries. Slowly, something under the pile began to glow very brightly.

And then the light burst out as the ground shook a bit, wind rushing out of the pile of bronze warriors as the students braced themselves against the wind, the girls holding down their skirts to preserve their modesty.

When the light and wind was gone and the earth was silent once more, something shocking happened.

The Valkyries exploded.

All at once.

The explosion was quite a large one, and apparently powerful enough to completely erase any trace of the Valkyries, not even a small piece of scrap escaped.

"What the hell was that!?" one of the students exclaimed.

"Was that the Zero!? Is she that desperate to win!?" another shouted.

"Hey! I don't even have my wand out!" Louise exclaimed before feeling something through her bond with her familiar.

It felt... stronger.

And then she saw HIM.

The smoke was clearing and the audience was treated to a rather... intimidating sight.

Standing in the epicenter of what was once a Valkyrie dog pile... was a monster.

It stood upright and had the structure of a human with a height of at least 9 full feet... it had five fingers with black nails...

And that's where the human resemblance ended.

Its body was moss green in color, some parts being lime green and orange. Its body's joints were segmented, the skin and material between the joints being a light blue color. Some kind of very dark blue crystalline material was embedded into its abdomen and forehead.

Its feet had three toes.

Its head's helmeted shape was shaped more like a 'V' than before. Its pink eyes now had black slits serving as pupils.

It had some kind of musculature that seemed similar to that of a very fit adult male.

Its tail was several feet in length now and swayed slowly and dangerously behind it.

Everybody was frozen as they stared at the being. Without a doubt, the creature in front of them was the familiar that Louise had summoned. And just like before lunch, it had evolved.

Only now it was much more intimidating.

"..L-Little Green..?" Louise muttered in shock and some fear.

To her surprise, the humanoid being's eyes snapped towards her.

And then they softened slightly as he turned around to face her. Louise could even see the corners of the being's insectoid mouth twist upwards in what seemed to be a smile.

"Hello mother."

Five seconds after hearing that, Siesta promptly fainted next to Louise, who simply stood there in complete silence and shock.

Slowly, 'Little Green' began to let out a guttural and raspy chuckle before in exploded into a loud fit of laughter as he held his stomach.

"Ohoho God, I wasn't expecting HER to faint but-pfft-that works too-hohahahahaha!"

At this point many of the other students had begun to faint in shock or from fear in the more faint hearted girls' cases.

"W-what in the Founder's name are you!?" a certain blonde fop exclaimed in horror.

"Ah yes, the little blonde idiot from before! What was your name again? Gweesh? Bah, whatever, your name isn't important." Little Green said as he turned to face the dot line earth mage. "I guess I do have to thank you for the meal though. Thanks to the magic powering your little tin toys, I managed to accelerate my growth even further ahead of schedule! You just saved me a few hours of eating and sleeping!"

"W-what are you talking about!?"

"Let me make this clear for you. Your toys had magic in them. I can absorb magic. I sucked your toys dry. I got bigger, stronger and much much smarter." The tall monster said with his raspy voice as he crossed his arms.

"B-but that's impossible! N-no living thing can absorb magic!" Guiche exclaimed in shock.

"Khehehehaha, no ordinary living thing at least. I'm afraid I don't fall under the same category of that. after all..." the tall creature then threw a glance at his still shell-shocked master. "I AM the perfect familiar."

Guiche shivered and felt the urge to just summon his Valkyries up again to attack this thing. The amount of danger he felt from seeing it just scared him. "What the devil are you!?"

"Ah, of course, I believe introductions are in order." The being said before settling into a stance with one foot slightly behind the other, his tail curving around behind him and his hands splayed wide in an almost welcoming gesture, a stance that was imitating that of a certain Arcosian ruler.

"I am the ultimate lifeform... the pinnacle of strength... I am a creature born with the DNA and blood of only the most powerful and elite of lifeforms! I am the perfect familiar, with an edge in mind, strength, spirit, technique and all aspects of battle! Mother calls me 'Little Green'..." the creature then let out a raspy chuckle and began to smile.

"But I prefer Cell."

 **Well, he's here! He's up, he's in his first form and God he is ugly (ironically, his first form is also my favorite form.)!**

 **Now, I'm sure you all probably didn't expect him to reach his first form so quickly but I have two reasons for making him reach it so early.**

 **One: magic boosting his growth.**

 **Two: do you really think I'm gonna type several chapters with him in his larva and pre-first form? Nope, sorry, I don't want to do that.**

 **Now then, how will his now humanoid form effect his relationship with his master?**

 **Will he continue calling her mother for the rest of this fic?**

 **Will he ever reach his perfect form?**

 **Will other DBZ characters ever enter this world as well?**

 **Find out next... on DRAGON BALL: ZERO PERFECTION!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Chrysalis End  
**

* * *

 **AN: Sorry I've been gone for so long, art college is a nightmare. So this chapter is really short, but its gonna get updated eventually and be even longer. But yeah, I'm alive and stuff, which you could probably tell if anyone bothers to check my deviantart.**

 **AN 2: Not an update, just telling you all that I put a poll up for funsies. Sorry for teasing.**

* * *

The entire Vestri court was submerged in very tense silence. Shock and horror was present on all of the faces of the students who were witnessing this event.

The green colored monstrosity that was Louise's familiar had adopted a vaguely humanoid form and even gained the ability of speech. And by the Founder, he had a way with words. Each sentence spoke by him brought uncomfortable chills down everyone's spines, his raspy voice full of amusement and condescension.

Louise was rooted to her spot, a myriad of thoughts circling her mind. In a way, she felt some sort of amusement at this situation. She wished for the perfect familiar, one that would be unbeatable and unrivaled, a God among familiars. And she got this giant bug monster that had a voice like a man who hasn't had a drop of water for months ever since entering the deserts of R'ub Al Kali.

She was so shocked, she didn't notice that poor Siesta who had fainted several moments ago was beginning to stir. The raven haired maid shook her head before looking in front of her...

...and her eyes landed on Louise's familiar.

She instantly broke out into a cold sweat, her body trembling in fear as she stared at the black spotted insectoid being.

'Little Green' or rather; Cell, was inwardly laughing his ass off. While he felt a bit dirty stealing Frieza's stance for his 'official' introduction, the looks on the kids' faces was so worth posing like that purple lipped frost demon.

Then again, considering that the only techniques he knows belong to Frieza and the rest of the Z Fighters, he probably shouldn't feel too bad about using Frieza's signature pose since everything he knows is technically copyrighted to them. But the guy's dead after all, so what does he care?

* * *

 _#elsewhere, in otherworld#_

* * *

The floor cracked beneath a triple toed and ivory skinned foot as a certain Arcosian prince gritted his teeth in annoyance.

'I have the sudden urge to strangle something green... I should go find that Namekian and mess him up a little... what was his name? Ah yes, Slug.' Frieza thought as he felt like someone ripped off his style.

"Something wrong son?" King Cold asked in a partially curious but mostly indifferent manner as he sat with his arms crossed, watching the landscape of HFIL shift and burn, the sounds of fighting, explosions and the magnificent space duck audible in the distance.

"What's the matter brother, did you stub your toe?" Cooler asked with a mocking tone in his voice, turning his head to the side as he dodged a Death Beam fired from Frieza's index finger.

"Shut up Cooler, I'm going to toss around Slug again. Do you want in or what?"

"A chance to beat up that idiot? You don't even need to ask."

* * *

 _#back to the plot#_

* * *

Cell decided to fuck around with Guiche a little more before ending the fight. Call him mean but when you're finally given a body where you can actually do the crap you want to do after years of being stuck as an embryo, you can afford to cut loose a little, even if it means scaring the bejesus out of a little brat.

"So are we going to do this or has this duel turned into a staring contest?" Cell asked with a grin, snapping Guiche out of his shocked state, the blonde boy blinking before shaking his head.

"W-what?"

"Cuz if it is, then you just lost. Then again I can actually stop blinking for more than an hour so you never had a chance. Watch!" Cell said as he began to stare at the blonde student, unnerving him even more.

...

Several seconds passed as the green familiar continued to stare at Guiche like a bird. The blonde fop's eye was twitching nervously and in a small amount of irritation. "What are-"

"Beep."

The students began to blink and look at each other in confusion. Guiche's face developed a similarly perplexed look at Cell's sudden interruption. "Wha-"

"Beep."

"Wh-"

"Beep." Cell quipped again, still not blinking. Guiche began to grit his teeth in annoyance.

"Oi-"

"Beep."

"Stop-"

"Beep."

"Would y-"

"Beep."

"OI-"

"Beeeeeeeeep!" Cell droned as he stared at the Gramont family's youngest child. Guiche stared at him in utter exasperation, his fear now turning irritated and unnerved as his eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

"...are you done?"

"One moment." Cell said before his head rotated 180 degrees to the right with a disgusting snap, causing the more squeamish students (and Siesta) to faint while the others recoiled in horror.

"Ooh, that's a pretty bird." The disturbingly cheerful sounding monster said as he stared at a dove perched on the branch of a tree several feet behind him, paying no mind to the terrified looks the other students, including Louise, gave him. "I like the talons. Reminds me of my own feet, except I don't actually have talons. Maybe I should grow some talons..." Cell muttered the last part silently to himself.

"W-what in the Founder's name!?" a loud and scared voice cried out. Cell then remembered that he was supposed to be in a duel of some sort.

"Oh, right, staring contest." Cell said before his neck snapped back into place. "Right, forgot about you for a second. What're we doing again? Staring contest right?"

"W-wha, no! Not a staring contest!" Guiche exclaimed, his temper rising.

"Oh, okay then. In that case, how bout we play tag? Here, lemme go first." Cell said as he crouched a bit before his body rocketed forward with alarming speed, skidding to a stop directly in front of Guiche. The blonde boy's eyes were as wide as saucers as his mind tried to process exactly how fast Cell was moving.

"W-what the-"

"Tag, YOU'RE IT!"

That exclamation was the only warning Guiche got before Cell struck. To the bio android himself, he believed that all he did was give a small pat to Guiche on the shoulder.

To everyone else, he swiped his arm forward and practically bitch-slapped Guiche into a tree several feet away, making several snapping noises that were either branches or bones breaking.

With a small crash, Guiche's body tumbled from the tree and landed in a pathetic heap on the ground, his eyes spinning.

"...oops." Cell muttered sheepishly. "Forgot humans are really fragile."

With that, Louise's mind finally broke and she fell in line with Siesta as her brain decided that she's seen enough weird for today, and she proceeded to lose consciousness.

* * *

#an hour or so later#

* * *

Louise blearily opened her eyes, groaning as she did so. She looked around, recognizing the furniture of her room. She slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes before looking at herself realizing she was still in her school uniform.

She then felt the memories of what happened at Vestri court surface... and she immediately froze.

"T-that was a dream right? Please tell me that didn't happen." Louise muttered before looking around, searching for her familiar. Finding nothing, she got off her bed and slowly looked around some more before deciding to call him. "L-Little Green?"

"Yes?" a raspy voice whispered directly into her ear.

"KYAAA!" Louise shrieked as she leapt into the air and spun around to look behind her, stumbling as she moved as far away as possible from the source, which was her familiar, in all of his terrifying glory, laughing himself to death as he held his stomach.

"OHOHO GOD THAT WAS TOO MUCH! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR-"

"FIREBALL!"

Nearly everyone in the academy heard the resulting explosion.

* * *

#minutes later, headmaster's office#

* * *

Old Osmond has seen many strange things in his lifetime... but the sight in front of him was slowly edging its way into the top of the list.

He had heard from Colbert that the Valliere girl managed to summon a familiar successfully. Of course, he wasn't really that impressed, the spell was easy as all hell. The fact that it was the only spell she ever managed to cast successfully was what piqued his curiosity. There were countless others easier than the summoning spell, so why was that the only one she managed to do in her entire time as a student?

His interest was piqued even more when Colbert described the runes. They covered the familiar's entire body when the contract was sealed, before vanishing completely into the skin. It was strange, no familiar runes have ever been recorded to cover that much of a familiar's skin, nor become completely transparent upon completion.

When the staff reported to him that the familiar had grown bigger at an alarming rate before lunch, his curiosity was piqued even further. From how Colbert described it when it was summoned, the familiar was reptilian, like a salamander and was barely bigger than a 4 month old human infant. However the staff reported that it had turned into some kind of quadrupedal insectoid creature and that it could eat literally anything they fed it without pause, even the bones and the guts of animals, and occasionally any stray piece of cloth that happened to be nearby.

However the familiar's latest evolution was by far the most astounding thing.

Earlier today, the Gramont family's youngest child was admitted into the nurse station due to multiple broken bones, especially in the shoulder area and a concussion. According to the students that brought him there, it was due to a rather powerful slap from Valliere's familiar, which was reported to have evolved yet again, this time into a humanoid yet still mostly insectoid creature, capable of speech.

According to eye witness accounts from other students, as soon as his (they assume it was male due to his masculine physique and voice) master fainted, he immediately rushed to her and the maid next to her before grabbing them both and vanishing. The head chef Marteau reported that around that time, he found an unconscious Siesta on the floor next to the kitchen's entrance.

Then, an hour or so later, a large explosion erupted from Valliere's room. According to eye witness accounts from other students and maids nearby, after the explosion which managed to decimate the entire wall and door into Valliere's room, they heard the insane laughter of her familiar and the angry shouting of the pinkette herself.

A teacher then sent the two straight to Osmond's office, thinking that it was better if he dealt with it.

Which led to this situation.

Louise Valliere sat nervously in her chair across his desk and her familiar stood right next to her, his arms crossed, an amused expression on his face.

"Whoa..."

Osmond and Louise's eyes turned to the large green familiar, who was staring unblinkingly at Osmond.

"That... is one magnificent looking beard. Best facial hair I have ever seen." Which honestly wasn't saying much because the only facial hair he even remembers is Doctor Gero's and Master Roshi's from the bio memories implanted into his head.

...Osmond felt rather disturbed yet strangely pleased hearing that.

"Why thank you, it took me many decades to grow this beard. I groom it and take good care of it every day." Old Osmond said proudly as he stroked his majestic meter long beard.

"I can tell, it's got a clean and silvery tone to it. Every hair is completely straight, not a single one tangled with another. Amazing. It's like a curtain of silver coated strings. " Cell said with awe... why he was captivated by a beard of all things, no one would ever know, not even Cell himself.

Louise felt her eye twitch.

Osmond smiled at the familiar. "Thank you, I appreciate the comment." He then turns his head to his secretary. "See Miss Longueville, why can't you appreciate my beard like him? He treats me with respect and he isn't even human, you treat me like dirt and you're my secretary!"

"Because unlike him, I have to suffer your ridiculous antics everyday. Like this!" She exclaims as she grabs something moving under her chair before flinging it at the old man. Osmond catches the flying object easily and softly, revealing it to be a grey mouse. "Stop making your mouse look up my dress!"

"Humph, how barbaric. So, what was it?" Osmond asks to his mouse, which responded with a single squeak. "White again? Come now Miss Longueville, why do you never wear anything striped? Plain white panties just do not suit you."

"URGH!" The green haired secretary growls before turning away and slamming her head on her desk.

"Hmm, I dunno, I think grey fits her more. Ooh, grey under a black pantyhose!" Cell exclaims, making Miss Longueville and Louise look at him in shock.

"Hmm, you may be right about that. Or perhaps... dark green under a black pantyhose?" Osmond says, rubbing his chin.

"Or..." Cell leans closer to the old man. "LACY black... under a transparent grey pantyhose."

"Brilliant!" Osmond exclaims as he high fives with Cell.

"Oh Founder, there's two of them..." Longueville moans out pitifully.

Louise's eye twitches. "S-so, h-headmaster Osmond, why did you call for us in the first place?"

"Hmm? Now that you mention it I can't remember... oh right! Your room exploded. Don't do it again. It should be fixed by now, save for any of your personal belongings that were destroyed in the process." Osmond waved her off. "Now then, off you go, you're free now. Stop by again though, I would love to have another conversation with your familiar!"

"...okay..." Louise mutters as she stands up and marches out the door, Cell following behind her before he turned and waved at Osmond.

"See ya later!"

"Don't be a stranger!" Osmond responds before the two leave and shut the door.

Louise was walking straight to her room, Cell following behind her, his face grinning with amusement.

As soon as Louise entered the room, Cell following behind her, she shut the door, locked it, and turned to the bio-android with a furious expression. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!?"

"Oh come now mother-"

"Don't you 'mother' me! What in Brimir's name are you!? You're not a salamander, you're not an insect, you're some kind of... demon! Why the hell can you talk now, how did you turn into this and wh-"

"Boop." Cell said as he poked her nose with his finger. "Jeez you're loud."

"W-why-y-you-" Louise's eye twitched violently and she looked to be on the verge of exploding. Considering her track record, this could be literal and metaphorical.

"Alright, alright, I get it, explanations. Fine whatever, just sit down on your bed or something and I'll start talking." Cell rolled his eyes. Louise glared at him before sitting down on her bed, crossing her arms at him.

"Explain. Now."

"Righto. Well then, I should start by explaining that I'm not from around here."

"Oh gee, really? Never would have guessed." Louise quipped sarcastically.

"Ohoho, that's not even the weird part. I'm not from this WORLD. Hah? Bet THAT got your attention." Cell said, chuckling at her confused expression. "I'm from a world where magic... isn't really a thing. I mean, it is for some, but magic is a minority in a world where science is the dominant factor for humanity."

"What is this 'science' you speak of?"

"Oh now that's gonna take me all day to explain so I'll skip that. Basically, I come from a world where there's hardly any magic, mankind uses technolog-erm I mean, "Advanced non magical mundane tools" for nearly everything, and martial arts is a big trend. Oh, also, there're aliens from other planets and shit like that."

"A-aliens? F-from other... planets? You mean, from space?!" Louise exclaimed in shock.

"Yep, lots of them. And the really tough fighters and aliens can use this thing called 'Ki', which is basically your life energy used as a weapon of sorts. Helps you heal, lets you sense life, lets you fly, oh, and you can shoot lasers and blow stuff up too!"

"...so... like magic?"

"Eh, I guess." Cell shrugged.

"Okay... so, what are you then? An alien?" Louise asked. While most of what her familiar was saying sounded ludicrous, considering what she saw today, she believed it wasn't TOO farfetched.

"Close enough. I'm a bio-android, an artificial life form born from the mixed DNA of the galaxy's strongest warriors. I know all their techniques, their skills, fighting styles and even most of their memories! I'm the ultimate fighter, born to eradicate my creator's greatest enemy and then I will kill everyone on the entire planet!" Cell laughed loudly. Louise immediately paled at this. Cell then stopped and sighed a bit. "Or at least that WAS the plan until you summoned me."

"Eh?"

"I said I'm from another world, remember? Meaning, I'm in a different dimension with no enemy to kill, no creator to obey and an entire new world to explore. My original programming? Gone. You know what that means? It means I'm free to do whatever the fuck I want! All thanks to you, mother."

"Stop calling me that!" Louise says, inwardly relieved that Cell isn't planning to go on a mass killing spree.

"No can do, you're the one who said 'Come to mama'. I was in larval stage so that ingrained into my subconscious. Even if I want to, I'll get the urge to always address you as my mother. Mommy. Mama. Madre. Madonna?"

"Y-you're kidding right? Please tell me you're kidding!" Louise paled as she stares wide eyed at Cell.

"Trust me, you'd know if I was kidding. I've got a dark sense of humor. And a bright one too. And maybe an orange sense of humor." The insectoid familiar muses as he cups his chin thoughtfully.

"What the hell is an orange sense of humor supposed to be!?"

"Dunno, but you'll know it when you see it."

"That doesn't make sense!"

"Mother, you're living with me by your side now. Nothings ever gonna make sense from now on. For example, your height." Cell grinned.

"What." Louise's eye began to twitch again, her lids half closing.

"Far as I've seen, everyone here's what, sixteen? Fifteen? You can't be some kinda young prodigy skipping grades since I overhear everyone saying you fail your spells all the time, so you gotta be the same age as them. Meaning you're sixteen or so. So how the hell are you so tiny? That makes no sense! And that's what I'm talking about, nothings gonna make sense, and that's one of them."

"...Little Green?"

"Yeah?"

"Lean close for a second, I need to tell you something." Louise said quietly as she looked impassively at her familiar. Cell shrugged before leaning down, putting a hand up to where his ear is.

"What's u-"

A wand pressed up to his jugular.

"FIREBALL!"

Students and teachers alike groaned at the sound of yet another explosion.

* * *

#Hours later, night time#

* * *

Siesta was terrified. It was the end of her shift, so she was allowed to return to her quarters and rest for the night. But sleep never claimed her, instead she found herself huddled in a thick blanket, illuminated by candlelight only as she shivered.

Her worst fear was brought into existence today. Giant bug people. Person. Whatever.

That... not so little Green was terrifying. The rasp in his voice, the cold and predatory pink eyes, the tail that was sharp enough to pierce magical constructs, and huge sturdy wings that looked strong enough to block a dragon's flaming breath.

Little Green was a nightmare.

And the fact that he took a special interest in tormenting her today when he was still in his second stage of evolution only reminded her that he WILL most likely continue to do so.

Fearing for herself, her mind did what it always did when she's under stress.

Retreat to her adult literature books.

If Little Green wasn't going to kill her or eat her, maybe he was going to do other unspeakable things to her? That tail of his could probably double as a phallus as well, and his crotch strangely looked just like his mouth...

Siesta shook her head. While not many knew this, Siesta had a bit of a perverted mind, often finding herself fantasizing about incredibly inappropriate things, usually when under a lot of stress. It didn't help that most of the things she fantasized about involved her being on the submissive and usually non-consensual end of the stick.

"Now is not the time to think about that kind of stuff..." she muttered quietly.

"What kinda stuff?"

The raven haired maid blinked slowly before her head began to rotate to face the hulking insectoid being who was currently squatting on the floor, staring at her curiously.

"Hi."

Rather than scream, Siesta started shivering as her face grew deathly pale and she very slowly began to back away. "P-p-p-p-please d-don't e-e-eat me..."

"Eh, not hungry right now. Besides, you're not food, you're the one who feeds me." Cell deadpanned as his eyes turn half lidded. "Drinking you just seems counterproductive, and even if they assign another maid to replace ya, I like you."

"O-oh... okay..." Siesta slowly mumbled, feeling her heart rate slow down as she sighs a bit in relief, never taking her eyes off the elephant in the room.

"...you kinda sounded... disappointed for a moment there." Cell raised a green hairless brow as he stared at Siesta with amusement.

"W-what!?"

"Hey, I don't judge, some people are into vore, I get it. I'm into vore too actually, but that's a given when you've got a tail like mine. If you want we can work something ou-"

"Nononononono!" The maid exclaimed, shaking her head with a suspiciously bright blush, which is emphasized by her pale face as she backs even further to the edge of her bed.

"You sure? It'd probably be awesome!"

"S-s-shouldn't you be with lady Valliere?"

"Eh, she got tired from trying to kill me twice today so she hit the hay. Not literally, since the bale of hay she had in the corner of the room got incinerated from the first explosion, but you get the drill." Cell shrugged as he craned his head around, examining the room. "Gotta admit, didn't expect this place to give servants their own rooms. Pretty rich school huh?"

"S-speaking of which..." Siesta pulled her blanket tighter around her body as she stared warily at Cell. "H-how did you get in here?"

"Erm, I opened the door, and went in."

"B-but I locked it! A-and how come I didn't hear you?"

"Oh, I kinda melted the lock open. And you were too busy staring at the wall, muttering and mumbling about tentacles or tails or suctions cups or something. I dunno." The bio-android shrugged again as he gestured to the partially smoldering keyhole in the door.

"...p-please don't tell anyone."

"Scouts honor." Cell grinned as he saluted.

"W-what?"

"Eh, never mind. Now, back to the vore."

"I-I'm not interested!" She exclaimed with wide eyes as she hid under her blanket.

"You sure?"

"V-very sure!"

"Alright, but if you ever change your mind, just grab my tail whenever or something." Cell stood up slowly before walking to the door and exiting the room.

Siesta remained hiding under her blanket for the rest of the night.

Sleep never claimed her.

Strange fantasies however might have.

* * *

#the next day#

* * *

"What did you do?" Louise glared at Cell as she stood in front of him, the android lounging on a chair in the kitchen as he hungrily devoured all the leftover food given to him. Even though he had finally evolved, he still had an appetite and since he couldn't just go off and start absorbing humans (Well, he could, but then Louise would start panicking and complaining), he needed to keep eating as much food as possible.

"Whasha shalking boat?" He replied with his mouth full of fish bones and guts as he chewed and crunched the bones, despite having only four teeth, neither of which were molars.

"Don't speak with your mouth full, I raised you better than that." the pinkette snaps as she slaps one of Cell's cranial protrusions. He swallowed his food before staring half lidded at her.

"You've only had me for two days."

"Quiet you, mother knows best." Louise smirked as she saw Cell mutter to himself and concede to her point. Being acknowledged as his parent seems to make it easier to keep him civilized at least. "Anyhow, what did you do to Siesta?"

"What? What makes you think I did anything to her?"

A deadpan stare was the response he got.

"Okay okay, I paid her a visit at night. Wanted to creep her out, check to see how she was after fainting twice, had a little chat, then I left. Oh, I also melted her door's keyhole." Cell chirped before picking up a pig's intestines and slurping it down like spaghetti, which got him a disgusted grimace from Louise.

"...that's it?"

"Hmm?" Cell smacked his lips as he swallowed the internal organs. "Well yeah. That's it."

"Then why is she staring at you with red cheeks while hiding behind a corner?" Louise asked as her eyes moved to stare at something behind Cell. The android's eyes widened a bit before his head twisted 180 degrees rather sickeningly, just in time to catch sight of the raven haired maid ducking around a corner.

"...yeah, I might have insinuated that she was into vore play, and ended up hitting the nail on the donkey."

"What play?"

"Okay, so some people, mostly girls, get really turned on from the concept of being preyed on or swallowed whole by-"

"On second thoughts, I don't want to know. Just... don't traumatize her. I tolerate her better than the other maids so I'd rather have her keep her sanity for as long as I require her services. Brimir knows she'll need it..." Louise sighed, palming her face.

"You could've just said you liked her." Cell deadpanned.

"And you could've just been anything other than a giant petri dish of non-magical super soldiers from another world. Oh well, nobody's perfect..." Louise mutters as she turns around and walks out of the kitchen. Cell simply sat there, his jaw hanging a bit before he shook his head slowly.

"Oh that was a dick move, mother."

* * *

 _So yeah, hope y'all enjoyed that fic. I'm gonna update the cover image and post the full res of the new one on my deviantart. Just look for Hazama15. That's me._

 _Anyway, college is a pain, and its an art school, so all our work is practical. Life is tough, but we keep on trucking, yadda yadda yadda._

 _See you guys next time, just know I haven't forgotten any of you._


	4. Not an update, but read it anyway

Not an update, but a little not just to announce somethings. The chapter will most likely get uploaded around Christmas or New Year.

First off, checking the results of the poll so far, and I'm a bit disturbed by how many people are rooting for the "Wincest" route. I mean, I don't have a problem with it, but wow.

Second, I'll probably end up making pictures of a few scenes in this fic and then put them on my deviantart account. So if I say something in an AN like, 'Also, that scene where _ is _ ? You can find a picture of that on my deviantart. If you don't know what my deviantart is by now, then start noting down. Its Hazama15.' then you know where to go.

Man, I wonder how many fanfic writers make their own fanart. XD

Either way, sorry to disappoint you guys and probably make you think this was an update, but at least your update is coming within less than a month, right? If all goes well.

And if anyone has played Xenoverse 2, try and find Doctor Hazama on STEAM. Maybe we could meet up and have a good ol' fight sometime. Maybe.

Eitherway, again, see ya in a few weeks.


End file.
